fear is not the absence of courage » failure happens every time you quit
Quitting is a learned response that (can) become a habit
Have you ever been called stubborn?
I have. Often. I prefer to think it’s a positive attribute. When used in a specific way.
By stubborn, I’m not referring to the unwillingness to bend, instead, it’s the ability to hang-in-there…
My personal take on quitting is that we’re taught to quit. In other words, quitting is a learned behaviour.
Which means it can be unlearned.
Sadly, once this behaviour is adopted often enough it becomes a habit.
And once it becomes a habit, you have to overwrite that bad habit with a good one.
Polio + 20 miles + £20.00
When I was 7 I entered a walkathon to raise money for polio. It was 20 miles (32km) between Stanford le Hope in Essex to Bexley in Greater London.
Twenty miles is a loooong way.
My mum must’ve thought I was going to end up in Scotland or something because she packed up my school satchel with all sorts of emergency provisions.
I’m sure you can picture the sort of satchel. Today it would be retro. Back then it was normal.
Heavy leather things with huge buckles and two straps. Wearing it on your back meant you were hands-free, way before hands-free was de rigueur.
Leather satchels are heavy empty. Mine was vinyl (ooops! sorry – faux leather). It didn’t weigh as much as real leather satchels but it was much, much bigger.
My mum loved me lots. I could tell. She had every single potential emergency covered.
I had boxes of sticking plasters (in case of blisters), an entire picnic (I might get hungry), flasks of drink (she didn’t want me dehydrating), a raincoat (it might rain), toilet paper (in case there wasn’t any), coins (in case I got lost from everyone else and needed to catch a bus), a change of clothes (in case I didn’t put the raincoat on fast enough), a change of shoes (in case the plasters didn’t work for the blisters), change of socks …
That satchel weighed a tonne!
My dad sponsored me £1.00/mile.
It cost him £20.00. Which, back then, was a lot of coin.
I think he was a bit miffed I ended up costing him so much (as I mentioned in My Favourite Apps article – my dad wasn’t the most optimistic bloke to walk this planet) …
When I finally arrived home he asked why I walked the entire 20 miles. He said “why didn’t you stop?”
I didn’t know I could!
I wished he’d never asked me that question because life was never the same again.
Because from that day on I then had the knowledge that stopping (quitting) was an option.
It’s been one of my life’s “I wish I could undo” statements …
Because QUITTING therefore becomes a learned response CONFIDENCE can also be learned…
Anyone can learn confidence. But in order to master the skill you need to step into your s-t-r-e-t-c-h-y z o n e.
Being confident is like learning anything new: at first it feels strange.
After a while it feels not-so-strange.
And then it feels comfortable.
And then it doesn’t even feel at all because you are confidence.
You have to do before you be.
So what does any of this have to do with you…?
If you sometimes doubt yourself then attending one of Get Googlin’s facilitated networking events might be just the ticket to boost your confidence.
Each event creates a safe learning environment in which to “do” confidence in order to “be” self confident.
just as quitting is learned so courage is also learned
Can you relate to any of the following statements – which I hear alllllll the time, by the way:
- I lack self confidence
- I’m shy
- I’m an introvert
- I worry about what other people will think (of me)
- I don’t know what to say
- I get tongue-tied
- I don’t have a way with words
- I don’t know anyone at networking events
- Networking events are a waste of time
- I always think of something clever to say after it’s too late and end up looking stupid
If you can relate to any of those statements, then guess what?
Just about everyone I know thinks like that too. Believe it or not, you’re not the only one!
And by attending a Get Googlin facilitated networking event you’ll truly discover you’re not the only one who thinks and feels like that.
So what’s this got to do with fear, quitting, failure and courage…?
False Evidence Appearing Real
Fear is just:
But when you can hold your courage in one hand (even in scary situations) you automatically distance yourself from quitting. And therefore, as a consequence, guaranteed, absolute failure.
- How would your life be different if you were more confident?
- What difference would it make to your business? To your personal life?
- How much more in control and powerful (successful?) would you feel if you could walk up to a stranger and start a conversation?
- Do you sometimes envy other business people their ability to always get referrals and be recommended?
This is your last chance to finish 2015 on a confidence-building high – make sure you don’t miss out.
Start 2016 by hitting the deck running with networking confidence.
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